Cambridge Medicine Interview: Round 2.

So what have I been up to?

Egg Benedict at Tom's Kitchen

Sloane Square 

Yes, I've been slightly drowned by work after a weekend of fun-fun-fun and no-work-at-all! in London but I'm not slacking a single bit on writing.

Remember I wrote an article on Cambridge Medicine Interview before? Recently, I wrote another article on Cambridge Medicine Interview for an organization called Malaysian Medics International (UK). You can head over and read it. Share it with any friends you think would appreciate it. And also, thank you my dear friends who volunteered yourselves for the interview. :)

Besides, I will (possibly) be facing my second med school interview soon! When I first got in, I thought this is it, I am done with the scary med school admission interview but when I arrived here, they told me, no, you will have to go through another round of application to get into Cambridge's Clinical School because we only have space for half of number of medical students in your year. 

Wth? Another round of cambridge interview?! I have only realised this very recently when I talked to my friends from Imperial and UCL. This only happens in Oxbridge. (They say, do your research before you go for any university. I obviously didn't take that advice very seriously.) All other London medical schools students don't have to go through this! No wonder our intra-species competition was so intense so the past 2 years because it all depends on your merits/results to stay. :/ 

And now everyone's scrambling to fill in their forms and preparing for the interview...*sigh*
Urm interviews, no please, please don't give me nightmares, again. KEEP CALM THIRD YEARS!

If any seniors who have been through it are kind enough to save us from this misery, could you please message me or comment below? We shall be eternally grateful for your contribution. Thank you. :) 

A spark in the lab

It was not even that late. The sun sets much earlier than usual because it was mid-November. Everyone scurried home way earlier than before to avoid the rain forecasted to start in a few hours time. But she couldn't go home because she needs to finish this procedure to get these batch of cells into the PCR machine so they can run overnight. He, obviously couldn't as well as he was seen busy pipetting solutions for the a few hours now. Who knows why he couldn't wait until tomorrow, everyone is so busy these days, it's hard to constantly keep track of what other's live is about. 

In the midst of the test tubes and the neon-coloured solutions, their eyes met. They were allocated seats on opposite sides of a bench but nothing this strong has stirred in their hearts before. Well, at least not in hers. But there is something about this moment...her breath paused and she could hear her own heart beating hard against her chest wall. His eyes, oh, his eyes were so beautifully created. It's as if he could stare straight into her soul, looking in her now stirring, no, melting heart. The blue flame from the Bunsen burner was the only witness to this magical moment.

To be continued...

Ok, how's my fiction writing skills? Can be the next best-selling author or not?

Hahaha....Let me entertain myself for a while because I was feeling a bit frustrated in the lab lately. I have been repeating the same procedure for 4 times, and without my supervisor around, it was pretty daunting to do everything on my own. But I did it! After consulting other senior researchers around, I finally managed to troubleshoot all the problems and got the right gene fragments for the plasmids (a.k.a. ring of genes that isn't part to your own genome).

Then the spark happened...

To transform the bacteria (transformation: bacteria are able to take up genes from surrounding and adopt it as their own), I have to use electric pulses to make these electrocompetent little things to take up the plasmids. I was so happy when the plasmids are assembled and I can't wait to put them into the E.coli. So after mixing the plasmid and the bacteria together, I put them into the pulsing chamber and pressed 'PULSE'. After a few seconds

SPARK!

I was utterly shocked. What just happened? My supervisor who just got back this morning was laughing at the side,
'Finally you've seen a spark in the lab!'
'WHAT JUST HAPPENED? Are they dead?'
'Yea, probably fried. You'll have to assemble new plasmids.'
He said while still chuckling. Not funny, not funny at all.

Ah, the beauty of science in reality! Experiments in school, college and the past 2 years in uni have just been too nicely choreographed to be fool-proof. Being in this research project really allowed me to have a real taste of science experiments. It's not a walk in the garden anymore, rather, problems always appear and even when you follow the procedure to the microlitres, things still won't be guaranteed to turn out the way you wanted it to be. One of my supervisors said even the machine operated PCR (Google: polymerase chain reaction) is a dark art.

On a brighter note, I can almost see the end of my project and it's week 6!

The sunset of Michaelmas Week 5 in Cambridge 

Good DoSes

DoS [do-os, noun]

1. Director of studies. 

DoSed [do-os-ed, verb]

1. You have a good DoS, this is just a lovely chat to recall on what went wrong. 

2. You have an evil Dos. You're screwed, mate. Brace yourself. 

Because of the huge number of medics per year my college has, we have a different DoS each year. (DoS [Cambridge term]: Director of Studies) DoS is basically the person who takes care of all your studies related matters and that includes arranging supervisions. If you did something horribly wrong, you get DoSed and face whatever consequence that he judges appropriate to make sure the Same thing doesn't happen gain. I've very fortunately not done anything deserve to be DoSed and sincerely do not wish that day to come...

I am currently in my third year so that means I am currently under my third DoS. It is extremely important to be in good terms with your DoS, or else you are just so screwed for your life  will have a hard time when asking for advices in your studies and getting references for applications, even though we only meet them less than 10 times a year.

I must say I have been blessed with 3 very different but all equally great DoSes for my entire time here. They are all big shots in their fields yet they take time to care for us, little peasants, bottom-of-the-food-chain down here. My first DoS was pretty strict and pushed us really hard. There was once I was late for 5 minutes for his supervision and he pretty much reprimanded me for 5 full minutes before starting the supervision. But when I look back, I couldn't be more grateful for him. It was my first year, I wouldn't know how much you need to work to achieve great heights and unleash your true potential if it weren't for his encouragement, motivation and strict schedules throughout that year. It was the year I worked the hardest, but it was the year which I experienced my steepest learning curve in my entire life so far. 

My second DoS was really lovely elderly man who was retired. He stayed in Malaysia for 7 years before, been to my humble hometown so when I first arrived in Cambridge, I felt so welcomed by him and his wife. We are in the same church too. :) He wasn't as hardcore, but he was strict as well. But he understands us, medics, second years, and he's always there for us, standing on our side, protecting us. I felt so encouraged after each DoS meeting during my second year so even though it was suppose to be the most nightmare-inducing year in a medic's life, I did not had it too badly. I believe he helped, A LOT.

I have not met him since third year started until today, I met him in the church. He was so excited to see me then he literally, held me by my shoulder, shaked me then hugged me and exclaimed "HAVEN'T SEEN YOU FOR SO LONG!!!!" 

I was melted by his cuteness. Couldn't have been more blessed and lucky to have someone like him around. :') 

I am currently under my third DoS, who is equally lovely and encouraging too (must say good words, I don't want to have a bad year) hahaha..No,but really, he's really nice. He even offered a chance for us to experience being interviewed in from of a proper film set, by a proper program which I took on just to have fun 2 weeks ago. 

I know many people who don't like their DoS, and sometimes, there are just unfortunate circumstances and misunderstandings standing between the students and their DoSes. But if possible (and esp to freshers), treat your DoSes nicely, you have nothing to lose. 

Should I blog?

This question has been haunting me since medical school started. Erm duh? what are you doing now? Yes I know, but I have been extra cautious because I am studying to become a medical doctor. By exposing myself out here, I am afraid that one day, my patient will look up my blog and I will look unprofessional, besides simply not having enough time to blog regularly. It's not that I do crazy stuffs.... oh wait I did do a crazy social experiment on people... but most of the time I am blogging about stuffs that normal people do. I am less worried about confidentiality tho, because I don't talk about my work or other people's issues unless it's life threatening and only by talking about it, I can save the person's life. But of course, this will never be the suitable medium to talk about people's life threatening issues.

However, I don't think patients would appreciate that perspective very much. With the rise of 'expert patients' always looking for information online and do a full background stalking check of their doctor, just imagine this scenario that will happen in 5 years time, 

"Doc, so you like eggs for breakfast eh? I thought you said that's high cholesterol and you advised me against having it every day?"

"erm...that was ages ago. I #eatclean now."

Protecting our public image is something my friends and I are thinking about very seriously now. We are sharing so many things on our social media account nowadays without second thoughts. Sometimes, these things might appear funny at that moment but few years down the road, the very same thing that you thought was harmless or even good, could very possibly haunt you with completely unexpected repercussions, especially when you are applying for jobs.

The thing is, I actually love blogging very much. It's not just about writing a journal or a diary, it's also sharing interesting things with people who actually care or... have unfortunately fell into this hole serendipitously found this space where a silly girl talks about the most unimportant things in the world. I have been blogging since I was 14. Yes, 14. I have another blog which recorded my life before university started in a very funny and entertaining manner. By that I mean, my English and the silly things a female adolescent who lives in a rural city did. Through my blog and Nuffnang, I have managed to meet up several big shots bloggers of those days and had fun with them. I love following blogs too, I still do now. From KennySia, to Xiaxue, to Kimberlycun and my latest craze, Vivy Yusof and Nuffnang's founder - TimothyTiah. Whenever they update, I just get the boost of dopamine shooting in my reward circuitry. 

It is a space which exposes a glimpse your private life to the public. I know, it may seem like we enjoy voyeurism perhaps we do  but we actually just love sharing our thoughts with the people who hopefully are like-minded, and resonate in return.  

Follow my instagram on @the_whitecoat for daily updates 

I know this can be done via so many other channels now; instagram, facebook, twitter etc. I am doing it too, it's just...it's not enough. There isn't enough space and flexibility for you to simply rant express your thoughts, for you to narrate your life properly. And perhaps I am just that old fashioned, I just found the passion and love in writing freely here. 

What should I do? 

Giving an 'introduction'

How would you like to be introduced? Funny, witty, smart, composed, reserved?

Or do you like to introduce yourself because no one else could do you the justice? 

Since university started, I have been meeting new people almost every day. Ok, maybe not that many, but at least 1 per week except during exam term when everyone disappears in this city of nerds intense people. The most common form of introduction in this university is, "Hi, my name is _____. I am a (your year) from (college), doing (course)." 

So, having done this no less than 45678745 times, I am obviously very sick and bored with this kind of introduction, whether when I am being introduced to another person by a mutual friend, or when I had to introduce myself. I mean, ok, it makes sense, it packs the most vital information people need to know about you in 2 sentence, but it's sooooooo common and similar, at the end of a series of introductions (especially when in a group) I can't even remember anything anymore. Not that I am not paying attention or I am not interested in you, I really am interested! But human memory isn't like a computer, dude! Memory works best by association of a new piece of information with our experience or  something outstanding/witty/funny. With that dead boring, fill-in-the-form-style introduction, there's simply nothing unique that I could associate it. (unless you have something physically or behaviourly distinct that I could observe in a few seconds) 

I decided to try something new in the art of creating first impression. 

During the latest CUMaS freshers squash, I decided to go:
"Hi, I'm Christine. I'm a first year, Biological natural scientist, from Caius." Then tried to look a bit nervous (which I thought should portray first-year's awkwardness quite well.) 

"But why haven't I seen you at the freshers camp?"
"Oh I got the offer very late so I missed the camp."

Of course the freshers believed me, no doubt, with the help of by my fellow third year wingmen. :P They don't have a reason to not believe me. 

So after we finished out 10 minutes chit-chat and the awkward silence starts to sink in before people start moving away to another group of people to talk to, 

"Actually...I'm a third year."

"WHAT?! THEN WHICH PART OF WHAT YOU JUST TOLD ME IS TRUE?"
"All were true but I am not exactly a bio natsci, I'm a medic, who's on her third year, but is doing a bionatsci course. All else are true."

Not a very good first impression when trying to instill sense of trust and reliability a senior should have, but heck, when they know me they will know how am I really like, so that shouldn't be a big deal. :P (and now they will remember me forever for being 'the senior who cheated me during the freshers squash')

But my point is - the freshers' response when I told them the fake introduction and the true introduction were so different. When I told them immediately I am a third year, they were much more reserved in their answers.  They were more passive and I had to ask formal/boring questions like 'so how are you finding the first few lectures?' and they gave me a omg-so-generic answers. Then the awkwardness sinks in, then we move away and never talk to each other again. 

Ok probably not that bad. 

BUT the response was immensely different when I told them I am their fellow first year. Yes, the personality of the freshers I decided to prank on may be different but the responses I got when I told them I am a first year are generally much more...genuine. They would give some generic answers, but they also complained, they teased for a bit. And it's just generally warmer, and we instantly connect. There is an expected sense of empathy. How nice would it be if we could all just put down our guards for a bit when meeting people? 

(and my dear freshers, please forgive this dino for pulling this social experiment/prank on you poor innocent souls on the first moments we meet. Don't worry, I won't do it again. Do ask for help whenever you need anything... :) ) 

Then there's another instance I introduced this junior to another friend from third year. 

"Hey, meet  XXX. She is XXX2's sister." I said.

"HEY don't introduce me like that! I am me...."
You won't believe how scared and shocked I was. Oh dear she's gonna hate me forever now, this stupid senior. She was so quiet, so gentle before and I really didn't expect that to come after that introduction which I thought was perfectly fine. I thought it was the easiest way to relate and link 2 people. The sisters shared the same background, so telling my friend about this mutual point should be a good launching pad to help them strike up a conversation. Turns out, it's not always the case. 

Perhaps I should put in more thoughts when introducing someone. I get annoyed and obviously not very impressed too when people introduced me wrongly. ('Hey, meet Christin----a.' -_-"" )

Your introduction is your first impression, the first moment with this new person, who could possible unveil a completely different phase of your life. One wrong step and that's probably the end of the story. (Unless you are obliged to meet each other every day.)

How would you like to be introduced? How do you usually introduce a person to another friend?

The Cambridge (Medicine) Interview

The Cambridge University admission interview, the one filled with so much stories, mysteries and myths.

Hello there! :)
If you are not one of my very few usual readers, you must have stumbled here by googling something for THE INTERVIEW (congratulations for the courage to even try! :D) or perhaps just trying to figure out if you even have the chance to realise this dream which you've been keeping it a secret to yourself for years. Welcome! I was suppose to blog about this interview 3 years ago, when I just finished mine, considering the fact that I have benefited a lot from my predecessors. But then I remember reading something in TheStudentRoom about we shouldn't be blogging about it, or else we'll be lectured by the admission tutor if they find out. It has been 3 years since mine happened, so I guess the content of the interview should be completely different by now (if the procedure still stays the same) and therefore, since I have nothing better to do this summer holiday, I think it's safe to share with you my experience now. Warning: This is NOT an official, rigid guide of how the interview is/should be like, for each interview is different and is guided by how you respond to each question. I am just here to share with you, my personal experience and my thoughts if I still remember them clearly  from that wonderful first encounter with this magical institution - Hogwarts Cambridge. Besides, there are so many posts about the interview experience of candidates that interviewed at their respective college itself, with so few from the international students interviewing at their home country, I felt obligated to contribute back to this special circle, especially to those in Malaysia. There is indeed a very strict quota on the no. of places for international medical students being admitted to the UK medical schools each year, with only about 1-2 places for internationals in each college in this University. So, I guess it is important to have a rough idea of what to expect and to prepare for potentially THE MOST IMPORTANT INTERVIEW IN YOUR LIFE. Be rest assured tho, it is not that scary. Don't worry, don't drive yourself to the brink of insanity. Keep calm and think.
There are of course many other helpful websites, esp those from the university admission team themselves, that you ought to visit to prepare if you haven't done so!

Apart from the UCAS application form, personal statement, the BMAT/UKCAT and your A-levels or equivalent results, the interview with Cambridge tutors is perhaps the most important factor in the admission process. This is because most of the candidates applying for this spot will look almost the same on paper: columns of straight A*s, consistently across several years, and a brilliant personal statement that shows as if you were born/have been preparing for decades for this spot, this degree. An easy way to distinguish one candidate from another is thus, the interview. For those who are unable to fly halfway across the globe to the UK just for an interview, we are very very fortunate that the university has been sending professional interviewers (who are possibly your future lecturers) to Malaysia, Singapore and Hong Kong for the past few years. The interviewers may not be from the college you applied to, but they will make a report to the college and have the whole interview recorded. I had my interview at HELP College, Selangor, one day before my A2 exams started (which I had both Pure Maths P3 and Biology P4 the next morning after my interview day) UK candidates get 3 interviews with their future/potential supervisors in their respective college, stayed in the college and even dine there during the interview days. (unfair? Haha they flew over. consider the logistics involved and hey, interviewers are humans too, they need to rest) As an international student, you will have to pay 100 pounds for a 25-30 mins session to show them all you've got! The good news is, most people get interviewed after meeting all the deadline for the application form submissions and payment if you are a candidate that shows reasonable potential on paper. So why not just grab that chance?

Unlike most medical school admission interviews, you do not get ethical questions or questions that ask about your personal experience in a previous hospital attachment. So books like Medical School Interviews by Picard and Lee may be helpful for all other interviews, it is less so for the Cambridge interview. This interview focused mainly on your scientific and mathematical knowledge. This is because the syllabus is still in the traditional style in cambridge, so for the first 3 years, you do not go to the hospital/have frequent patient contact, you are basically learning how to be a scientist. You still do the things like you do in A-levels: go to lectures, supervisions (the special learning system in Oxbridge, equivalent of tutorials but with a ratio of 1-3 students to a supervisor), do your homework, write essays, have exams etc. Your scientific foundation is pertinent for your survival here! It is important that you have a strong grasp in your basic sciences to do well here. After the first 3 years, you will need to go through another round of interviews to get into clinical schools. That is when they focus on your experiences and assess on your attitude and principles as person. For this interview, it is...hardcore science, so know your stuff!

Do I need to know the syllabus for the first few years of med school to be admitted? How much do I need to know?
No! You can try, but I find it impossible for normal human beings to perform such mighty stunt when you have AS/A2 coming up at the same time. Although it is a good idea to look up what are we studying to know if you are really interested in this course and check out if you like the way we are taught (as compared to other styles of teaching in other med schools, not everyone like this traditional way of teaching. You shouldn't be here if you want to get into action, talk to patients on the first day of med school), you are not required to know med school stuff. No one expects you to know them, not even all 3rd years know them very very thoroughly because there is just too much to learn here! Save those worries for another day, ok? This is what you are required to know very well and in detail - your A levels syllabi. The questions they asked me were relevant to the syllabi and suited to my level. I will talk about this later. I had slight advantage during my interview because I was an A2 student, when majority of the students who are interviewed in my batch were AS students, so I could answer the questions in a greater breath and depth.

But considering the fact that I answered almost every single question wrongly, I think a more important factor is to show you are able to think on your own. We Malaysians are very prone to memorizing stuffs and 'vomiting' all out without digesting during exams, when we are suppose to think! (Ah the days of memorizing 36 nilai-nilai moral!) This bulimic way of learning may have brought you smoothly through our Malaysian education system, but it is a different story when you reach the tertiary level. For this interview, I think they also assess your ability to think, or rather, your ability to show that you are thinking. So when answering the questions, explain to the interviewer logically and clearly how you come up with you answer, show him/her your thought process in any way you could. Imagine explaining how cellular respiration works to your little brother or sister, and using appropriate words, explain it to the interviewer. I know this sounds easy, but many people failed miserably in ANSWERING THE QUESTIONS CLEARLY.

Really? How do you know for sure?
Here's my experience! I was an A2 student. I did not have much time to prepare for the interview itself except to view several Cambridge related videos online and read some seniors' experience on their interview because I was preparing for A2. I knew some other candidates even read The New Scientist to prepare themselves, but I did not have the time nor the resources in my college to do so. But I was not expecting anything, so...it's okay... I applied and paid for the interview because I have friends who had made it there and just by paying 100 pounds (or about that), you will definitely be interviewed (as compared to Oxford's interview which only very few candidates get and you have to be in the UK to be interviewed - this is actually one of the reasons I chose Cambridge over Oxford in the first place). Taylor's College Subang Jaya, where I was from, also had a very dedicated university centre where they hired professionals to give us a mock interview and feedbacks, few weeks before the actual day. On top of that, I was very curious about this famous admission process, so why not go for the experience of being interviewed? Why not give it a shot?

On the day, I 'attempted' to dress like a professional and arrived on time at HELP. I was the first to be interviewed at that centre on that day. (There are several centres in Selangor and KL) When I met my interviewer, I was not particularly nervous but when I was seated, I saw the next candidate's photo and CV, I did panicked a little inside.

The interview was a very very friendly man (who is actually my lecturer for my first year's course and still remembers me on the day he walked into the lecture theatre). He greeted me with a warm smile, and started the interview by asking questions like 'Why Medicine in Cambridge?' to break the ice. I just gave a very honest answer: it is a prestigious uni, it is known for its quality of education in Medicine, I want to learn there etc...

After that, he started the real interview process by showing me a graph of foetus' weight over the whole gestation period. I was so afraid because the only thing I knew about pregnancy is the connection between the mother and the foetus is at the placenta via the umbilical cord. that.is.all. What am I gonna do? That feeling of impending doom was almost unbearable.

Based on that graph, I was asked to derive another graph for the growth rate on the spot. That's mathematics, so it's alright. It did scared me a little because for the negative plotting points, there wasn't a negative y-axis on the answer sheet I was given, so I had to extend the line on my own, which I thought looked really weird at first. But it turned out to be correct.

That was the almost only part I was able to answer correctly. For the rest of the interview session, I was asked questions like, 'why do you think the baby's growth did not occur exponentially?', which of course I have no idea. I explained my answer based on principles. For most of them, he replied, 'Interesting idea. Principally it is correct, but this is not what happens in nature. It is actually...' He patiently explained the correct answer to me everytime I answered wrongly. The whole process was very interactive and fun. I was so grateful to be able to learn so much in that 25 minutes, which isn't what I expected out of a typical interview! (I guess that fee paid to cover the interviewers' flight over was so worth it even if I did end up being rejected)

We ended the session by discussing about esters' structure, which was what we learned in A levels Chemistry, and that was about it. I was glad I was there, but I wished I had done better for all the wrong answers I had given. But the damage was done, so no matter how devastated I was, the only thing I could do at that moment was to go home, study for tomorrow's papers and hope for the best. Who knows, the good news came as a complete surprise in one of the quiet nights in January...

Thank God for His grace, after all that had happened, after so long, I still think this was a miracle. :)

So here you go, the story about my interview, which I guess is a typical Cambridge interview process, depending on which subject you are applying. There were myths of weird questions being asked like 'how many atoms are there in the world?' I do not know if that is true, but even if it is, I wouldn't be surprised. Why would you ask a textbook question and expect a textbook answer anyway? Reality isn't like textbooks most of the time (esp in med) and uni is to prepare you for the real life out there. You are suppose to think critically anyway...so yea, don't be shocked if something completely out of this world pops up during your interview. Just keep calm, and work it out logically based on what you know; if you don't know, try; if you really don't know, just admit you don't know. The interview process simulates the actual supervisions we have, so they also want to see how 'teachable' you are, and if you have the passion, hunger and humbleness to learn! You can't teach a person who thinks he knows it all. After all the more you learn, the more you realise you know nothing.

All the best for those who will be having their interview and A levels exams soon! Do leave a comment below if you have any questions :)

'I know those paving stones well...'

Title was quoted from a comment on a friend's photo on facebook, which inspires me to write the following post...

Lately I have been bombarded with messages that warn undergraduates to make the most out of the undergraduate years and go after your dream, live a life, instead of being in the rat race of rankings in Medicine and Veterinary Science Tripos and playing it too safe. For instance, there's this article from the Tab about Cambridge finalists lamenting about their regrets as they are about to face the real world. Being an easily influenced person, I can't help but feeling a bit worried too. Am I living the life I want? I caught myself repeating this question over and over again in my head. But again, what is the life I want? Is it the 'life' other people said it should be? Taking risks, going after big dreams, skip lectures, jumping off bridges into the River Cam etc. is that the 'LIFE' they are talking about when people talk about 'get a life, kid.' From the content circulating around recently, it really seems so. Then I should be very ''dead', thoroughly and long ago. Perhaps, never alive.

It's true that I have been deliberately opting out from elections of societies, Jailbreak, RAG charity fundraise events and those sort. Maybe there is a tinge of cowardice element that made me decided to do so, but to be honest, at this point of time (maybe I will think in a completely different perspective in the future), I am really content with how my life is like. Content, not complacent. I do realize there are heaps of room for improvement (personal development, interpersonal skills, knowledge, life wisdom) but I do try my very best to make decisions that will not myself regret, at least not in the next few months. I am content that every morning, I have someone I love waking me up, have a nutritious breakfast with selection of white coffee from home or thick black coffee to get me started, going to lectures and supervisions to learn from the experts who are highest in the academic hierarchy, chat with friends who are terribly bright in between lectures, ridiculously huge resources to depend on to do my essays and revisions, have random chats with my corridor-mates, go for grocery shopping, chat with my family on Whatsapp and ending the day with a nice long conversation again with my love before sending he starts his day on the other side of the planet. There are days when I go to church to meet my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ for service and bible study, to make the days of the week slightly different. There are times when I am dead exhausted (especially after 3 supervisions in a row) so I go for a late night jog around this small town with my favourite songs playing on the phone, which by God's grace, I was able to buy it on my own means. Then there are times when I wonder 'why am I spending so much? I need to save!' (still working on it)...
Honestly, I am quite content.

A lovely note I received from Tiffany in between lectures 

Of course, things are not always smooth. I was so stressed jut few weeks ago due to some issues that I was so afraid I am going to be depressed; I was rejected from one of the summer programs I have applied too; my rice cooker just got confiscated yesterday (serves me right for leaving it in the kitchen the whole night). There are times when I was just so tired and wondered if this is all worth it? am I doing the right thing? am I living a life? Am I as capable as my peers who are managing the whole club/society (but I can't even manage my own life!)? But then again, is there a script that I should follow but somehow I have been unaware of all these while?

I am learning to be grateful for the people around me that helped and supported me through the hard times, to accept me as I am, to take the mistakes as a lesson to learn from. For example, yesterday I told my mom I lost the rice cooker (it's relatively new) and the porters who confiscated it were kind enough to leave my pot of chicken soup behind. Instead of blaming me, she laughed at the fact that my soup was still there. Oh, my mom is such an optimistic and strong person, sometimes, when days are bad, you just need to talk to her to feel better. This, is one of the lessons I should learn from her.

I can't be absolutely sure if I am really living a life (as everyone calls it), but I do know exactly what is not having a life. It's when you are completely blind to the good things that are happening around you, and be physically and mentally consumed by work/studies all your waking hours. I do not mean to criticise those who work hard, because I do too (just ask anyone who knows me) and I know working on things you love and mean so much to you with all the passion you have is indeed a very enjoyable and fulfilling process. However working so hard that you lose your health, your mind, your faith, working so hard that it affects the relationship with your family and friends, and working so hard that you just feel like...this is all life is about, really isn't my idea of living. I spent a year doing that and just that. Being completely oblivion to my surrounding, I didn't even feel like I am in Cambridge, UK, as envied by my friends back at home because I was hiding in my room, studying away all the time! Trust me, it was awful.

My friend from another college asked if it's better to work madly like last year or to keep to a relaxing work pace like now? If you wanna look back and have memories of the youth, perhaps it's better to be like this; if you wanna go for grades, this is definitely not going bring you to the "Rank #1 in the Year' many covet. But does it matter? This year, I try to strike a balance between working hard and to have time to appreciate people around, to love myself and to enjoy simple pleasures in life more. Beautiful friendships blossom each day. Also, I find it's much easier to get through things (esp hard times) and many times, it much more productive and efficient to work this way. The 18 hours study regime can wait till next term. :P

Not that I do not have ambitions and dreams. I do, I too am delighted with achievements and while I am working towards my dream, I constantly ask myself, 'is this what I want? or am I just following the crowd? Perhaps next time, when you ask a person to get a life, do remember there isn't a fixed script that everyone must align themselves to, to have a life. A note to self (and whoever's reading this) who is always busy with work/studies remember to stop to enjoy your surrounding once in a while, always care for the people around and remind yourself that there are more important things in life and in this world than whatever that's overwhelming you right now. It's easy to miss that when all in sight is the PROBLEM, but keep calm, change your perspective and carry on.

Photo taken and edited by Allen Ng
Rose Crescent, Cambridge.

I want to be able to leave this place one day proudly claiming, 'I had a great time learning in this place and I know those paving stones well too.'