Written few weeks ago...
Walking through the crowd in London's Paddington station at its peak hour, I saw a chihuahua walking passed me with its owner. As though it was tracing a familiar scent, it kept its head down all the time in the midst of thousands of legs of humans... It looked so small, frail. I can't help but to imagine how terrifying it is to be a chihuahua: this giant world is GAAAAHHHHHH SCARY! I don't want to be a chihuahua...
Oh wait, I will not be, but that's not the point. The point is, I almost find myself having a world view of a chihuahua lately. Small, scared, always trembling, and any small 'calamity' can send me into catastrophic mode, I.e. Bursting into tears. Of course, I don't cry when there's people around. But it really makes me wonder since when have I became so weak? Since when have I started viewing the world as a small chihuahua?
"You're a big girl now, stop crying."
I know. Crying doesn't rally solve the problem. That's what I have been telling myself too but when things go wrong, I just could not help. It is as if, if I don't cry, I will explode from the pressure built up from within. This is even worst when I am tired/hungry, missing a terai like this afternoon, just makes me frustrated, angry then I cried (just for a few minutes).
However, this fact is, God didn't made a chihuahua, He made me a daughter of His own. This does not mean I have the right to have absolute pride in myself because I shall not boast in anything but Christ alone! But shouldn't this also implies I should thus view the world as a daughter of God?
The world is in God's hands. Everything is under His control. And if that holds true, shouldn't I trust that He will look after me too? That's the problem, I always forget God's promisesnd the blessings He has given me over the years...a man who loves me and whom I love too, my family, my Baobei and his family, my friends, my opportunity to even be here today. Oh my silly mind, are you amnesiac? (Even if w are unfaithful, He remains faithful, because He cannot disown Himself. - 2 Timothy 2:13)